No Gain, No Pain

Did my second weigh in this morning. Bad news is I didn't lose any weight. Good news is I didn't gain any either... I mean... that IS good news, right?

I forgot to take pictures this morning of where I'm at... so... here's me messing around at Old Navy.

This week was a bit hard on me, emotionally. I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday, a call with the results on Wednesday, and an appointment next Friday to find a specialist who can confirm the first doctor's results with more tests. I don't have medical insurance so I go to a free clinic and they can't really do all the tests... I'm hoping that they can find someone I can afford.

Bottom line is, they're worried I have diabetes.

That was extremely hard for me to write.

I probably cried for half an hour after they called me.

I don't feel like I do... but really, how would I know? I've put on A LOT of weight since high school and I do definitely feel different than I did back then... even different from 3 years ago. So maybe that "different" is diabetes? I don't know.

I DO know that even the past two weeks of watching what I eat (not just eating whatever, but making mindful choices) has given me more energy and changed... everything.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this post... *FOCUS*

So I didn't lose any weight this week but I didn't gain any either. I have more energy. And I definitely feel stronger even if I slacked on the exercise for a few days.

My goal is to get back on track this week.

OH. And I promised info from the research I'm doing into eating habits and fitness. Well... I have TONS of info. Hopefully I'll post some stuff next week.

Have a great weekend everyone!

1st Weigh In

I think I should add "stop cringing when I see photos of myself" as one of my goals.

I lost 6 pounds this week! I know it's probably water weight but still... I did a happy dance after I stepped off the scale.

This first week was awesome. Every other day, I did 20 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes with my 5 lbs weights and balance ball. And on alternating days, I did yoga. I'm not as flexible as I was in high school but I tried my best and the poses helped soothe my aching muscles from the previous day's workout.

There was one embarrassing day with a jump rope that will probably make a good blog post so you'll just have to wait for that story :P

Originally, I was going to try and work out every day but yesterday was a bad day. And my muscles ached so bad I just gave myself a day off. I'm going to try to go the whole week this week but I wont feel bad if I have to have another day off on Saturday.

I'm not one to count calories but I did start a food journal of sorts a few days ago. I've written down everything I've eaten and it's helping me keep track of how much fruit I'm eating (or not eating) and how often I'm eating out. Also, there was one day I was hungry the whole day but was eating the whole day... looking back, I don't think I got enough protein that day. So this food journal is helpful.

Right now, the outlook is good. I'm happy. Today, I did 15 minutes of yoga and a quick 15 minute workout with weights and a variation on sit-ups. If you're curious, the workout can be found here. You have to sign up to get the workout... helpful if you're in some kind of workout rut, I think.

Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend! Happy Halloween!

Day 2: Yoga

When I was playing tennis, we played everyday. Or we tried to. And my dad would take us to the park on the weekends to practice. It was probably the best I ever felt, those days.

I've heard people argue for working out every day. Some people argue for every other day. Some say 6 days with one day of rest.

For me, I'm going to try for every day. Why? Because I have a lot to lose. And I know that the first 10 or 20 lbs will be the easiest to lose so why not get there and then stress over the rest later?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not overdoing it. Not by a long shot. Yesterday was 20 minutes of cardio followed by 30 minutes of free weights and a little time on the balance ball. And this morning, I was sore. I woke up late and my shoulders SCREAMED at me. But I knew that was going to happen. And I planned for it.

Every other day for me will be a yoga day. I have it in my mind that yoga won't be as stressful or painful as cardio and free weights when I'm sore. But it will still work out my body.

Boy was I right. I popped in that yoga DVD and started moving and my body didn't scream out but I could feel the burn as I moved this way and that.

I'm a beginner. No way can I put my ankle up over my head. Heck, with my thighs and tummy, I can't even do some of the positions fully, but I put my all into it. And I'm glad I did. I got sweaty. My muscles burned. I got a good work out and it felt great. My shoulders still ache from yesterday but it's more of a dull soreness than an outright "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" when I move my arms.

Note to self: Must get a yoga mat. I have a hardwood floor and while it probably burned more calories clenching my muscles so tight to keep from falling, it probably wasn't all that safe. I did slip once, too. :P

It's still the beginning and I'm glad I'm still optimistic about all this. Today, I know I can lose the weight. I know I can stick with the program I've given myself. I know I can do it.

Here it Starts

I am overweight.

Not just overweight. Based on my height and current weight (which I'm too embarrassed to share), I am "morbidly obese," so says the nice doctor (she really was nice about it...).

I did not even attempt to question her. I knew. How could I not? 6 years since I moved out of my parents' house. 6 years of stress. 3 spent in college, only having to drop out because of finances. Add to that, working for a dying company 4 of those 6 years, being laid off once from said company and then going down with the ship finally in September as one of it's captains. Let's not even talk about the family drama...

But it's not their fault I cannot manage stress properly. It's all me.

I've never been "thin." But I was always active. Basketball, tennis, working out in my room to get stronger and to slim down the parts of my body that I inherited from my mother. Then, moving to Orange County, I poured all my energy into school. And then I poured all my energy into work. Never changing my diet. Never developing a workout routine. Just work. Work and eating. And eating more when I was stressed because I love food and it makes me happy.

And here I am. Reaping the rewards.

It runs in my family, I think... being overweight. My mother, goodness knows I love her, is like a little dumpling. Round and soft and full of... let's say spiciness... My father, though the thinnest of his brothers, has diabetes, high cholesterol, and heart problems. I remember him playing tennis all the time. But when he finally landed a full time job, tennis went away and he just worked, ate, and slept. So I suppose that runs in my family as well: workaholism.

My mother seems to have no other health problems other than joint pain attributed to her weight. Luckily, all the blood work I had done in the past showed much the same: healthy.

My father, once he heard the news of the diabetes, lost the weight. He walked. He used weights at home. We started playing tennis again. Not everyday but most days. But he couldn't change his diet. Being Filipino, white rice is part of every meal and he just was too set in his ways so his diabetes remained.

I do not want to be like my parents. My knees and hips hurt sometimes and it scares me. My doctor mentioned the very real possibility of having diabetes and that scares me as well (I'm having blood work done on the 1st of November and we'll find out if I have diabetes). I'm only 24. I have so much more living to do.

So here's the plan. I'm going to lose the weight by working out again. I'm going to eat healthier. I'm not one for counting calories but I can change the way I eat.

The goal is to lose 80 pounds. I'm not going to put a time limit on it because what's the point? I'm just going to freak out and stress as deadlines approach and I have enough stress right now.

I'm going to use this blog to track my progress. To rant. To whine and cry. To share fun facts I find because I love researching things. I'm not sure who would want to read this blog, but I'm hoping that this journey will be interesting at least.

I don't expect to drop down to a size 2. I don't expect to be "thin." But I do want to be healthy. And that is my goal.